Top Things Daily Soaps Feed Us
Here are a few instances which the tele-world always has to offer and we take it willingly.
1. The Multi-talented, perfectionist Bahu
Dahh… These women are the ideal and a reason to worry for all the brides-to-be and bahus-to-be. With those spotless persona, these television bahus are totally flawless. They can be termed as ‘nobody’ because in reality ‘nobody is perfect’.*I know it’s lame*
But seriously, can’t these women have a single blot you know, maybe gossiping endlessly or going out with her girlies even after the wedding like a pro? But no, these ladies are always appropriately dressed (ever found ‘Simar’ bouncing in her rabbit pajamas :P ), will always be in control (no hysteria attacks or adrenaline rush.Na na..never in a lifetime), will be the Guru of Sanjeev Kapoor and will always be the one who keeps the family together. Bahu-gene in her DNA from the beginning.
2. The Power to Reincarnate
Seriously dude, you’ve got me. Either these people are Gods, greater than that or they are vampires. (watch for eye color variation, or even better, groove in front of them with an open vein :D)
How can these guys repeatedly manage to come back to existence even when their postmortem report declares them as departed?
These people totally have me intrigued and have set a whole new level to the world of supernatural.
The guy has guts to get out of the grave every time when we have actually witnessed him being buried.
Remember Mihir from ‘Kyuki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi’.
He can try for the next sequel of Twilight if that is being made.
3. Zero Faux Pas in Couture
Now would someone please take the pain to explain me that how the hell can someone be so immaculately dressed 24*7*365*forever! These people never have a dress blunder nor a smudgy eyeliner despite turning on their tear taps regularly and on the top of that, they are totally impeccable even in the middle of the night. No matter what their family background is or what their financial situation is, even if they belong from a middle-class family, their day won’t start until they don’t dress up in heavy jewelry and ostentatious designer clothes. These people are always wedding/photo/xyz occasion ready. I mean, I need to make trips to the washroom every 2 hours to check my mascara (it’s waterproof) and my hair and these people would kick off some asses, drive faster that Vin Diesel, have their worlds turn upside down and still, not an inch of their saree ka pallu would budge let alone their heavy jewelry. I need divine inspiration!
4. What’s In The Air?
Ok, so the protagonist, or the very desirable, amiable, worthy, apple of the eye and dream-of-every-guy steps out of the car and finds her knight in the shining armor. But hey, why does her hair start flowing and her dupatta starts floating.
Does it mean that mother nature has also given a thumbs up for their union or something like that? It’s like nature too gets perky and it starts raining when the actor and the actress have little ladoos of romance bursting in them. It’s telepathic. Mr. Charles from X-Men, welcome a new mutant to your team.
5. Yes to Mannequin
This is very obvious in every serial. Just when the family is about to discover the murderer of their prodigal son/daughter/servant/any individual associated the person exudes paranormal activities and appears in segments. First, his finely crafted boots are shown, then his slim fit trousers, then his exquisitely tailored shirt and as soon as they come to his thorax, the buffering stops. And we are stuck with the suspense, on the precipice and eagerly wait for the next episode and when you come and see the next day, the person is none other than the milkman turned rebel and filthy rich. Honestly, feels likes the internet connection was broken and thus the loading of that person.
6. Hola Amigo cum Stranger
The protagonist himself and his family are such philanthropists that they would eagerly let any stranger stay in their house for centuries without even doing a background check. That lady saved my son’s life, she can stay forever with us and everyone is so comfortable with her presence as if she has always been there. Dude, How? I mean I keep the iron gate shut even if it’s the cylinder man who comes every damn fortnight and these people extend their heartiest welcome to a mere interloper.
They seriously deserve the highest degree of respect or even a Nobel prize would do. :P
7. Split Personality
Every person has to have a secret identity. EVERY! And it will be revealed only when either the family is in trouble or you have to cause the trouble. I mean what you are?
Avengers? Superman? Spiderman? Batman? FBI?
And even on top of that, when nothing works, they completely defy the laws of science especially biology (anatomy) and transform into an animal without a clue. ( Ichhadhari Nagin is their favorite) Do you have any clue that there is such a big difference between a reptile and a mammal? Look at the audacity man. We even digested how Hulk came into existence (gamma radiation), but he still was a mammal with 2 legs 2 hands and humanly features and these people, no radiation, no genetic mutation and ta-da, say hello to the Nagin or the Good-hearted Spirit. Salute guys!
8. The Phenomenal Power Of Secret
The serial wallas should be your best friends. Why? Because they are just awesome at keeping secrets. They can stay tight-lipped for centuries and millenniums if it would keep the serial going. Never would they utter the world. The power to sacrifice and to never mention it for the world. Girls, we have something to learn. I mean I can’t digest a secret for a meager 2 days and these people. Duh They can stay like that forever and you would never even get a hint that there really was some secret.
But despite all the odds, these soaps work and are more effective than government schemes.
We worship them and ardently follow everything they do.
Well, that’s the beauty of it!