Psychologists Say Players Are Mentally Unstable
When we think of a player, we generally think of someone who is smooth and collected in the way they interact with people (especially women). After all, it’s this coolness that allows them to attract as many women as they do.
However, what most people don’t realize is that very often this smooth and collected exterior is hiding a very different interior …one they very much don’t want you to know about. Jed Diamond, psychologist and author says that even though players seem like the life and soul of the party …the reality is that they only SEEM that way. In reality he says they are “very insecure about their lovability”.
In this article, I’m going to show you exactly why this is the case and why you might want to rethink thinking players are as cool and collected as they try to make you believe they are.
5 Hidden Secrets Of A Players Psyche
- Hidden Problems: Psychologists state that the more a person pays attention to their looks, the more likely it is they have a hidden problem in their life which they are trying to cover-over. Have you ever noticed the way players tend to take more care of the way they groom themselves and dress than the average guy? Taking care of your looks is a good thing but if the particular player you know is over-doing it …the more likely it is he is trying to cover over some hidden problem. Covering over a problem rather than trying to deal with it head-on is never the sign of a healthy mindset.
- Addictive Personality: The psychologist and author Nando Pelusi says that “anything intermittent has an addictive quality for humans” …and this he says is a leading reason why players can’t stop chasing around after women. Even the most successful of players can’t get every single woman they chat up so they never know which new woman he will be able to get with. This intermittent nature of the players success has an addictive quality which often on its own steam is enough to keep the player addicted to seeking out new women over and over again. People with addictive personalities are never healthy to be around.
- Compensating For A Poor Upbringing: Jed Diamond says that studies have shown serial players often tend to have grown up in a household where the father had absconded and left the mother to fend on her own. This can make the child growing up feel like they weren’t wanted or accepted. This absence of the father can set off a reaction in a guy growing up where he is subconsciously driven to seek out methods to compensate for this lack of acceptance by trying to make himself feel accepted by lots of different women. This is not a healthy mind-set to have.
- Past Relationship Scar: How is it that players can go around breaking womens hearts …yet never seems to have their own broken? How are players so emotionally strong? The answer might surprise you. The reason players don’t seem to get their heart broken by any of the women he plays around with is because his heart is often ALREADY broken from a past relationship and he hasn’t been able to get over that particular woman. Because his mind is still thinking of that old ex, he is unable to become emotionally attached to anyone new and so constantly jumps from woman to woman without ever being able to fall in love.
- Never Ending Emptiness: All of us at some point in our lives feel like there is something missing. And when we get things like a good-paying career or a good partner etc. we feel more completed. This is a sign of a healthy mindset. We are able to feel more completed when something positive enters our lives. For some people however, they will always feel empty no matter what they do. This is called chronic emptiness. Randi Kreger (the author of the best-selling book “Walking on Eggshells”) says that people who suffer from chronic emptiness have a tendency not to seek out intimacy, but instead look to be “filled up with compliments, admiration and respect for being a superior person”. They look for the cheap quick fixes …rather than the long-term solutions that actually work. This is exactly what players do. No matter how good a woman you are, you will only ever be ONE source of compliments and admiration for a player. He will inevitably always be having his eye out for other sources to help fill his never ending emptiness.
Can Players Be Changed?
If you can find the particular issue (or issues) a player is trying to cover-over in his life and find a way of fulfilling these unmet needs in his life, then you could potentially change a player. By fixing the root cause of the problem, you fix the symptoms of the problem (in this case his constant wandering eye). The problem though is that a players problems are often so deep-rooted, it’s not always easy to figure out what they are, let alone help him to fix them.