Originally posted on April 28, 2020 @ 11:12 am
On the one hand, it seems tempting: going to work together, going from work together, always together. On the other hand, just when you think that it is your other half always beside you…
The fact that husband and wife work together has its undoubted advantages. This is a common motivation and spending time together and everyday topics for conversation. Both vacation schedules and schedules of anxious moments coincide. A wife or husband does not need to think about why the soul mate returned from work overstrung. Part of family conflicts caused by troubles in the office goes away since work issues are resolved in the office, during working hours. Therefore, when people come home, they want to relax, they spend free time calmly and sincerely with each other.
The obvious disadvantages of spouses working together include emotional burnout, the transfer of work conflicts to the kitchen, or vice versa, personal relationships go to the office when other colleagues witness family fights and relish every detail of the quarrel. It is essential to be able to clearly distinguish between work and home and not mix one with the other. Besides, the disadvantages of working in one office are also associated with quick getting used to a husband (wife). He (she) is no longer seen as a sexual partner or as an attractive person because he cannot say anything new – everything is only within the framework of general knowledge.
Hierarchy of spouses
Does it matter to the spouses, are they at the same level of the career ladder, or does one of them occupy a dominant position? According to psychologists, much depends on the personal qualities of the partners themselves. If a man is not too authoritarian and in no way – neither in the family, nor in his career – does not seek to “crush” his wife for himself, and the spouse, in turn, does not intend to take a leading position, then both “two equal specialists” will be delighted with both.
If we are talking about a healthy average family, then there should not be conflicts based on a career. In an ordinary family, both partners are equally committed to success, and whoever went uphill faster did well. One must be deeply selfish about his soul mate to say: “You succeeded, but I do not, so you sit next to me and do not try to achieve more.”
The situation when the husband is the boss – the wife is the subordinate considered quite reasonable and permissible. However, there are pitfalls too. For example, a spouse, I feel in a particular situation, can afford to be late, violate discipline, and the husband, although he makes her comments, his wife does not take these comments seriously. In this case, psychologists say, working relationships are only a reflection of family relationships. Unregulated personal relationships also manifest in chaotic work. That is, such a “confusion” may be characteristic of spouses not only in a situation regarding work but also in any other.
The situation she is the boss – he is a subordinate. If 5-10 years ago such relations seemed out of the ordinary, and infringing on the rights of men, today they are perceived more calmly. Here, again, everything is deeply individual and largely depends on the personal characteristics of both spouses. The model of feminism is gradually seeping into society and is being fixed in it. Men are no longer as painful and enthusiastic as before, regarding the fact that ladies occupy leading positions. Husbands of subordinates are also more relaxed in their duties and relation to wives-bosses: “I managed to achieve career growth – well done, I respect you as a specialist!” That is, in this case, it is not gender differences that are taken into account, but professional achievements.
Is it worth standing up for the “soul mate in front of the boss?
It happens that in the office where the couple works together, one of them gets into a difficult situation. Should the others help him? If a woman encounters difficulties, she expects her husband to help her deal with the problem and then the husband, in turn, faces a difficult choice whether to help his wife or not and would he intervene in the situation if another person were to replace his wife? It is especially difficult to decide what to do when the boss suddenly bakes a spouse for her work. In this case, the answer is obvious. You need to understand that a house is a house clearly, and an office is an office, in which there are no concepts of husband and wife, but there is a concept of professional and if suddenly the other half of the head is accountable for poorly executed work, then it is better not to intervene. It is better to come later and reassure, support the wife (husband), say something encouraging. However, to enter into an open conflict with the boss is stupid, especially if he is right.
Collaborative work is rarely a reason for a divorce
One of the most common myths about the collaborative work of spouses is: “At home, each other’s eyes are callous, and at work, they do not rest from each other.” Say, the constant joint pastime is so annoying that it often causes a divorce. In fact, according to psychologists, working together can only be an excuse for a divorce, but the reasons are, as a rule, much more severe and lie entirely different. Marriages do not collapse unexpectedly; there must be good reasons for this.
Own business strengthens the family
If a husband and wife do not work for someone, but themselves, then this is very good for the family. When spouses are, for example, co-owners of one company, then their relationship only grows stronger in collaborative work, since in addition to personal interest, partnership and financial relations also consolidate marriage, and in the case when each spouse has a share in the everyday business, collaborative work does not interfere with the family but rather rallies it. According to psychologists, some of the most active unions also happen when specialists of the same professional work in different organizations (provided that the organizations do not compete with each other). Then there is a passion for each other, and everyday topics for conversation, and the opportunity to help the other half to grow professionally. At the same time, partners do not call each other’s eyes; they have the chance to relax from each other during the working day.
About the author
Melisa Marzett is a young but professional freelance writer who is currently writing for my editing company. She has experience in working upon various subjects. Being curious by nature, she enjoys exploring new possibilities, learning new lessons and meeting new people.