After the break up

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A true love heartbreak really hurts,  like it hurts really bad. Some of us heal, or try to move on and get into another relationship immediately, others take time to pick up their broken pieces, and put them back together. This kind of heartbreak makes you wonder why the world can be so cruel, make you curse, cry your eyes out, or even lose touch with your soul. Well,  no heartbreak is similar to another due to our different personalities. This article highlights some of the common phases that one goes through after a break up and a massive heartbreak.

Fix yourself after that heartbreak


Shock is the first response of the body and mind towards pain. Yes, it happened, and your whole life seems to be falling apart.  You still cannot believe that love could actually hurt this bad.  You might have seen the signs that things were not going on well,  but you still held on in faith: and here is the result. You might not have seen it coming, it caught you by surprise and here we are,  in total disbelief and shock.  It has not hit you properly yet.


The shock graduates to intense pain, and the pain quickly gets a companion, anger.  You become bitter, at yourself and at that person that ‘hurt’ you. You can taste bile in your mouth, a lot more of cursing happens, a little hair pulling (unless you are the composed kind when angry) and you want to shout. The kind of anger you feel right now is indescribable. You doing something stupid now  is very easy, so just do not, try not to.


You withdraw from your social life. You do not want friends coming over, or talking to people at work. Shutting yourself in your own little bubble is the only comfortable solution.

Crying is inevitable, unless you  are made of steel. You realize that all the anger and pain you have kept inside you are not good for your health. You might not even realize it, but your eyes just start to water, and there, the flood gates open. Crying helps you release some of that unnecessary negative energy within you.

Just make sure that in the isolation you take bathes, we do not want you all unkempt and stinky.

Drastic Decisions 

Certain things around you may be a reminder of what you had,  but lost. It could be the his/her favorite couch,  the painting on the wall, those sheets, their scent all over the house. Some voice in your head might be telling you that it’s time to get rid of all those items, another will tell you that it’s through revenge that you will feel better, and the still sober voice tells you to keep calm. At the moment,  you are not in your right mind, so try to keep calm till you are sober to make some major decisions.

You might also start thinking of how you can salvage your relationship, maybe all is not lost. Just do not rush,  desperation may cause you more pain. Wait till you understand what really happened, and how it did. Maybe nothing can be salvaged after all.


When all the pain and anger has almost drained you of everything, reality kicks in. The pain starts fading away, and you start getting back to your normal self. You understand that you had a past with somebody and why you are not with them now. You start being a little more optimistic about what the future holds for you. At this point, you are almost completely healed from the break up: do not be surprised if some memories come sometimes, it is normal. Surround yourself with people who are positive about life. Give yourself a chance to love again, when you are completely healed and ready.

A break up should not be the end of your life, and heartbreaks are just part of it.  ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’